One of the white participants left the session and went back to her desk, upset at receiving (what appeared to the training team as) sensitive and diplomatic feedback on how some of her statements had impacted several of the people of color in the room. […] [Later] her friends wanted to alert us to the fact that she was in poor health and “might be having a heart attack.” Upon questioning from us, they clarified that they meant this literally. These co-workers were sincere in their fear that the young woman might actually die as a result of the feedback.
All of this is going to feel very familiar to anyone who’s blogged about racism in fandom.
“White fragility functions as a form of bullying: ‘I am going to make it so miserable for you to confront me — no matter how diplomatically you try to do so — that you will simply back off, give up, and never raise the issue again.’ White fragility keeps people of color in line and “in their place.” In this way, it is a powerful form of white racial control. Social power is not fixed; it is constantly challenged and needs to be maintained.”
Quoth the article: “What would it be like if you could simply give us feedback, have us graciously receive it, reflect, and work to change the behavior?” Recently, a man of color sighed and said, “It would be revolutionary.” I ask my fellow whites to consider the profundity of that response. It would be revolutionary if we could receive, reflect, and work to change the behavior. On the one hand, the man’s response points to how difficult and fragile we are. But on the other hand, it indicates how simple it can be to take responsibility for our racism. But we aren’t likely to get there if we are operating from the dominant worldview that only intentionally mean people can participate in racism.
I am a white man and I am racist. I’m not proud of being racist, and I honestly strive to overcome my own internal racism. And as much as I would like to claim that I’m not racist, the reality is that I can’t improve unless I first acknowledge the problem. The same is true of overcoming my own internal sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of prejudice.
To my friends of color on here, any time I say anything or act in a way that is offensive, insensitive, or racist in any other way, please let me know. I promise to listen, reflect on what you’ve told me, and work to improve myself.
To my white friends on here, I encourage you to let your friends of color know that you’ll do the same.
imagine being so insufferably self righteous even your organs yeet
Imagine being a doctor with a patient trying to tell you that their unhealthy/failing organs are actually functioning as intended because they are “free of sin”. Also imagine thinking that your period blood is full of “unwanted bacteria, toxins, and mucus”, like you realize that it’s what embryos/fetuses are cushioned in, right? So nah, it’s not gonna be full of toxic shit.
DO NOT DISMISS SOMETHING A CHILD IS PROUD OF. LOOK AT IT. POINT SOMETHING OUT AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE IT. IF A CHILD DRAWS YOU A RAINBOW, TELL THEM YOU LOVE HOW IT HAS RED. THEY WILL THINK “WOW. IT DOES HAVE RED. THEY LOVE HOW I PUT RED IN IT. I PUT RED IN IT. AND THEY NOTICED.” MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS YOU ARE PROUD OF THEM.
Like don’t say it’s the best thing they’ve ever drawn/made/etc if it’s not. (Tbh that can lead to fear of disappointment/failure, or they may notice you always say that and do something without even trying, to test you) But there’s always Something that is actually good or interesting that you can point out. Another good thing is if you notice whatever they made is different from their other things, or experimental, or they’re trying clay or dance or whatever for the first time, ask if they had fun with it. Or say it seems like they had fun with it. Oftentimes the most important aspect of an activity or creation is the enjoyment of it, rather than if other people like it. That’s how we learn, that’s how we find new things to love.
did cascada ever actually play on the radio or anything or did we all just learn about it through shipping amvs on youtube
this is so sad, yes the bitch tore up the radio and parties in like 2007-8, yall are all just like 15 years old.
My eyes: *see mention of cascada*
My brain: *flashback montage of the radio during middle school and also every amv from that time period, banging pans together to the beat* CUZ EVERYTIME WE TOUCH! I GET THIS FEELING—
Terfs: wombyn are their ovaries!!! Ovaries make a wombybybynnn. Accept that u are a womynbdgnn you have ovaries !!!!
Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:
not for long
You’re still female whether you have ovaries or not lmao
You heard it here first folks!! Females are females regardless of whether or not they have ovaries, so trans women are women regardless of their lack them. Well said 🙂
You played yourself like a damn fiddle, fool
i love watching terfs run circles around their own logic:
“you need ovaries to be a wombyn!!!”
transman: guess who got that shit removed I’m a Real Boy™ now
“nO not like that you still have a uterus that makes you female!!!”
ciswoman who’s had a complete hysterectomy: guess i’m not a woman then
“tHAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT if you have a vagina/vulva you’re female!!!”
transwoman who’s had bottom surgery: oooh i’ve got one of those does that mean i’m a Real Girl™ now??”
“NO YOU DON’T HAVE OVARIES OR A UTERUS”
literally everyone except terfs: *squints*
i especially love to person in the notes who brought up needing to have “female muscle/fat distribution patterns” like I have some incredible news for you about exactly what Hormone Replacement Therapy does…
Petition to refer to TERFs as FARTs, which stands for Feminist Appropiating Reactionary Tranaphobe
“Trans-Exclusionary-Radical-Feminist,” when you think about it, is a VERY kind term. To be called a TERF is for the person to admit that they still consider you a feminist.
But what kind of feminist excludes so many women from their movement? If you hate so many women for what they are, you really don’t deserve to be called any kind of feminist, radical or otherwise.
Anti-trans people: Stop calling us terfs it’s insulting
fattyatomicmutant, about to coin a new term: ‘K
Feminist Appropiating Reactionary Transphobe
is far far more accurate too.
Also, if you wanna block every FART on Tumblr, the notes of this post are an excellent space to start. Thank you for making it so easy FARTs.
Without responding to anyone in particular, I wanna explain why the ‘Feminist Appropriating Reactionary’ is accurate.
Aren’t FARTs ‘radical feminists’? Well, they call themselves that and they draw some of their roots from feminists who did coin radical ideas about the patriarchy but when you look at some of the core ideas that current radical feminists took from the seperatism of political lesbians, you actually see…
Women being defined by their genitals. (reactionary. def not feminist)
Anything with sex is always anti-woman. Resulting in strongly aligning with conservative politicians on issues such as sex work and porn.
(reactionary. def not feminist)
Obsessed with the penis as something that ‘taints’ women, several of the
founders of lesbian seperatism were former catholic nuns that saw rejection
of all sex with men as something that kept you ‘pure’, basically
replacing ‘virgin’ with gold-star-lesbian as the pure woman not tainted by evil
sinful penis-in-vagina sex.
Their separatist women-only spaces resembled convents. (reactionary. def
not feminist)
‘Radical feminists’ are part of a reactionary movement if a lot of their principles are based on the idea that contact with a penis decreases the value of a woman and sex with a penis involved is inherently anti-woman. A lot of people who identify as ‘radfems’ claim not to be FARTs, and claim that their radical feminist ideas are not being acknowledged by their opponents, but never actually distance themselves from these strongly reactionary ideas at all.
It’s absurd how this movement came to be hold the word ‘radical’ while the origins of radical feminism have given rise to so many truly radical views like black decolonial feminism, intersectional
feminism, anarchofeminism, revolutionary feminism… it’s absurd that it is the ‘actually women shouldn’t be transgender, bisexual, sex workers, femme/butch, kinky, or anything except what we say a woman should be’ branch laid claim to the words ‘radical feminism’.
If you’re consistently attacking women and working with conservatives to restrict what women can do… ‘Feminist Appropriating Reactionary’ fits the bill.
Not to sound like a broken record, but I can use some help
I dont want to alarm anyone, but I can seriously use your assistance. I had to spend money on groceries last week, and the bank just charged my card for this month, so if you can spare some cash to help me get out of the negatives and avoid having less than I am supposed to in the bank, it would be much appreciated.
Venmo- Jose-Vazquez-100
Cashapp- $jvazquez96
Update as of September 11th, 2018: My mother was laid off this afternoon
Thank you to everyone who has shared but nothing has been received so far, so please keep sharing, thank you again.
I knoe this may not seem super imperative, but my account is in the negatives, so please, anything is appreciated!
Update as of September 18th: Well, this will be the last time this post circulates. I dont want to keep pestering you guys. Still in the negatives, my mom still hasnt found a new job yet, and the next billing cycle is fastly approaching.
Disheveled Mess 