scarecrowqueen:

listlesslywandering:

escapedosmil:

homoglobinopathy:

gap-var-ginnunga:

i’m mostly posting this as a reminder to myself, but i think other men struggling with body image or people who are dysphoric about their hips can benefit from seeing this too.

this is part of a body positivity campaign launched by clothing company dressman called #justthewayyouare and if you click that link there’s more body types being represented in their ads.

i have never seen any body positivity for men like this before, marketing ploy or not it DOES help me seeing my body type (wide hips and chub and all) being represented in a public space like this, especially with the word “perfect” attached to it.

i’ve came back to this picture for a while now as a reminder that my body is a valid body, and i hope it will help someone else too.

(credits to @oneflewovergeorgieboysnest for taking this picture and putting it on facebook)

This is important.

For mah dudes

Because men need body positivity too

Signal boost cause all you gents need to be happy in your skin too okay?

Source: gap-var-ginnunga

armed-joy:

antiandrogen:

mydarlingadot:

“because i’m literally a communist.” —a mood for literally everyday, but especially this morning after ash sarkar roasted piers morgan alive on national television

piers morgan is the loudest dumbass jfdjekfkd

“There were no protests against Obama” like where were you??? There were protests against Obama’s policy (and on the immigration issue). They weren’t as wide spread and had less people, cuz people are fine with not acknowledging human rights are a thing until there are pictures of absolutely horrendous conditions for people, especially children. And rich white Democratic politicians (and thus many white Democrats in general) generally don’t react nearly as much as if it’s a Republican, tho it helps in Trump’s case that he took it further than Obama did with separating toddlers from their caregivers in a widespread way and keeping them in kennel-like cages. But there were protests during the Obama administration, they just happened to be by mostly poor immigrant poc

Common Toddler Discipline Mistakes

turbozarky:

gowns:

Punishments

There are several reasons punishments (including spanking, time out and “consequences” when they presented punitively) are mistakes. The most crucial is that children who are taught through physical or emotional pain tend to stop trusting us and themselves. Expecting humans at their most vulnerable stage of life to learn through pain and shame (when healthy adults would never put up with this) doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? Can you imagine taking a college course and being spanked or banished to “time out” because you weren’t learning quickly enough?

Even if punishments didn’t have long term negative effects, the truth is they don’t work.  The loving, trusting bond our children have with us is what makes following our code of behavior and internalizing our values something they want to do. Erode that relationship, and discipline becomes an “us against them” struggle.

Perceiving children as “bad” rather than in need of help

There was a toddler in one of my parent/toddler guidance classes whose behavior could be considered “bad”. He was compelled to push limits, probably because his adoring, gentle mother struggled to set them confidently. She admitted that his behavior unnerved her.  That, in turn, unnerved him, and “acting out” was the way he demonstrated it.

Some days I would have to calmly follow this boy, shadowing him so that he wouldn’t push or tackle one of the other 18-24 month olds. When I sensed an aggressive impulse coming, I would place my hand in the way and say matter-of-factly, “I won’t let you push” or gently move him away from the friend he was tackling and say, “That’s too rough.”

There was no point in reminding him to touch gently (in fact, that would have been an insult to his intelligence).  He knew exactly what ‘gentle’ meant and was clearly making a different choice.  But what I would often end up asking was, “Are you having a hard time today?”  “Da”, he’d answer a bit wistfully, a hint of a smile on his face, recognition in his eyes.  This simple acknowledgement coupled with my calm, consistent limit setting would usually ease the behavior.

Toddlers love to be understood. They also need to know that their discipline “teachers” are calm, unruffled and understanding, not thrown or upset by their behavior.   And that is the way that I have come to understand misbehavior. It is not intentionally bad, mean or a way to upset parents. It is a request for help.

Help me, I’m tired. Help me, I have low blood sugar. Help me stop hitting my friends. Help me stop annoying or angering you… better yet, stop me before I do those things. Help me by remaining calm so I sense how capable you are at taking care of me.  Help me by empathizing, so that I know you understand and still love me. Help me so that I can let go of these urges and distractions and be playful, joyful and free again.

I don’t usually reblog children-things, but this is important. 

Part of the issue is our cultural toolbox for dealing with problems is woefully understocked. Right now its almost entirely punitive. Many parents just aren’t equipped with the tools to enforce without punishment. We, as a culture,  need to fix this. We need to give these parents the de-escalation skills and alternative methods to punishment for dealing with kids, to prevent that adversarial dynamic between child and parents. 

Question: My approach has generally been to redirect if it’s “an acceptable” (read: nonviolent) breach of boundaries, but if the toddler hits/bites/tackles/kicks/etc someone else or tries to use a toy to hurt someone, they are removed from the situation or the toy is taken away. So if im at the park with the toddler I’m watching, and she is yanking another kids’ pigtails she will get a warning and asked if they’re hungry or tired or thirsty. And if it happens again, we leave. If she uses a toy to try to hit someone, the same thing, a warning, a check in, and if she continues then I take it away for a period of time. Would this still be considered punitive? If someone brought me somewhere with them and I was going around hurting other people, I think that person would be within their right to remove me from that situation. And if I was using a toy or my bag to try to hurt someone else, I think someone else would be within their right to take it from me so that I can’t continue to use it to hurt others. I will note that this same child will be mostly respectful of boundaries with me during the day, but when I first get to the house, she will continuously scream “NO” and even approach me to try to hit me. When her mom comes home she will be overcome with joy and then suddenly become very upset and start pushing all the boundaries she knows she’s not supposed to, including hitting me or being generally destructive and throwing things to the ground and refusing to help pick them up. The household is a strictly

Apparently she pushes boundaries with her mom all the time and refuses to take any naps for anyone but me, tho she was always stubborn about sleep. Apparently I’m the most consistent with her so that’s probly a factor but her mom is quite patient and calm with her. With her aunt who is probably second most consistent, she has bitten her and taken gouges out of her face with her nails. She’s unpredictable. She’ll be laughing and suddenly lash out and glare at you.

I’m genuinely curious what the appropriate response would be within this method of approach

Common Toddler Discipline Mistakes

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

jupiterbluee:

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

Tbh I noticed something. Y’all out here saying “abusers and rapist should die” but when people are happy an abuser died, y’all are shocked and angry.

Y’all saying support dark skin women, enough rotating light skins, but when people reject light skin actresses and prioritize dark skin actresses and their projects, y’all rush to say everyone is black.

Y’all saying fuck terfs but when actual self identitifying terfs attack trans women, you want to make excuses for them and give them space to speak.

Y’all saying no more whitewashing in films but are breaking your back to defend Scarjo or move blame from her to the male director.

I think some people are being dishonest for notes 🤔

I remember when Richard Spencer got punched and the same people who were like “fuck Nazis!!1!!1” beforehand suddenly started telling me, a Jewish woc that being happy he was beaten up was “just as bad”. People are allies when it’s fashionable, and go quiet when it’s time to actually do shit.

Great example but exactly! Like it was all fuck Nazis but when someone punched him you’re just as bad(which is a very violent statement to tell jewish people and poc) or they reblog abolish ICE stuff, thing they are on the path to genocide, but any active steps like dozing ICE agents or blockading them is met with “We need to take the high ground…what about their families they are people too😔”

Again, spineless fucks who would rather see marginalized people die quietly than fight back.

I agree with all of the above, but I want to add that ICE has 2 sections that really don’t interact or work together at all. One that deports people, separates families, and cages children. And one that investigates stuff like human trafficking, imported harmful invasive species, etc and have been quite vocal about requesting to completely split from the other section of ICE. By all means blockade and doze. But hopefully it is of the former section and not the latter

wearejapanese:

“A Japanese social psychologist who had visited Okinawa several times told us that many Okinawans become self-conscious of their “black” skin when they meet Japanese from Japan. To Okinawan eyes, the Japanese appear to have “whiter” skin and, therefore, look much more refined and urban than do the Okinawans. There used to be a general association among the Japanese of “white” skin with wealth, “black” skin with lower economic status.”

— Hiroshi Wagatsuma