my sense of humor:

suggesting “kill them” as punishment for an extremely disproportionate crime (”he stole my eraser” “kill him”)

staring at an object that has fallen over for a prolonged amount of time and with inordinate disappointment

*points at a garbage can* “that’s me”

zooming really far into someone’s face on snapchat

*something minorly inconveniencing happens* “@god what did I ever do to you”

“what are you doing” “my best”

shortening words that are already shorter versions of other words (ex: thank, congrat, welc)

“Bees?”

I’m Not White, But Nobody Can Ever Tell What Race I Am

Source: onlytwitterpics

Source: kardashiansfuckyeah

me: i have 3 things to do, but only 1 time
me: i could just pick 1 thing to do
brain: do 0 things
me: why?
brain: You Gotta

clowncare:

when u used to be an overachiever but now ur barely running on enough energy to function and u dont know how to cope

aposse:

do you ever just crave domesticity? to coming home to a partner, meld into them like you do your bed after a long day, soak your mind in the serenity of theirs like a warm bath to soothe the knots in your body, wrap yourself in their warmth and just fucking sigh from pure comfort